First of all no marriage is perfect. No marriage partner is perfect. Every marriage is going to have to learn how to communicate. But where do you learn it? How do you apply it?
As I strive to practice what I am teaching, I am so excited about the ability we all have to communicate with each other even about hard things and have it actually go well! It’s amazing! But it takes practice and time. It also helps to have someone who can mentor you through the communication struggle. I'm so grateful for the things I am learning that is bettering my marriage daily! It's amazing! I have an extra benefit; as I am learning to teach others, the material is on my mind every moment and so I get to practice it on my sweet hubby and go through the trial and error so I can teach others. In doing this my marriage is strengthening to levels I could have only dreamed of! It’s amazing ladies! I am being heard and understood with compassion and validation. I don’t need my “box” anymore to escape to. I am so happy!
I actually had a challenging subject to talk to my hubby about this morning. A lot of the information I am learning he hasn’t read or listened too. So my challenge is assuming that he will respond the way the “book” says he should. When he doesn’t, this is when I close off and think this isn’t working. But now I know he doesn’t know what I know. I have to share it with him in a way that supporting and helpful. So with this challenging subject this morning I did just that. When he didn’t respond the way I was hoping for, I remembered “he doesn’t know”. So then I was able to share with him what is needed from the woman's point of view and what the man's point of view should look and feel like. And it worked, he understood! Men are typically more humble and willing to provide what they need to create harmony. What I love about this is; this is proof that if you're husband isn’t interested or have the time in reading and working on the areas of weakness in your marriage YOU can still have success! Most husbands are willing but they are also working hard to provide for your family and don’t have the time to read the information. It isn’t that they don’t want to, it's a matter of enough time and energy to do so. But it only takes one person to change a relationship around. I have seen this happen. And I continue to experience it myself. So often we give up because we think, he will never read this and go for it. It's okay ladies if he doesn’t. He can learn it through your patience and what you're learning. He really can, and will want to, because he is all about providing. I love this!
This leaves no excuses. If you aren’t happy it will only take you to make the change and start on that path to happiness. This is GOOD news. You don’t have to wait and rely on anyone else! I'm a bit of a control freak so this is great news to me! If I work on learning, understanding, changing my approach and being more respectful he will join me on the journey and together we will experience the marriage we want. Will it be perfect? Is this going to save you from ever having problems? You know the answer to that. Life is about learning. Problems help push us to learn things we never thought we could conquer. But it is much easier to conquer these challenges together. Working as a team, as a partnership. Life is good. Marriage is the most important union ever created. Isn’t it worth the time, work and energy to create the relationship you want?
"I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be."