Last year for Christmas my hubby gave me the greatest Christmas present EVER! Tickets to see Il Divo in concert. I have waited for over 11 months!! I am so excited. I realize Il Divo may not be everyone's cup of tea, but for me, they are magnificent. I love good music and I love music that is inspiring. Music that touches you to the core! Ya know, when the hairs on the back of your neck sit straight up? I am so excited!!
We are going to spend 4 days together, which I cannot wait for. Something I have always tried to do in our marriage as well as share with others, is to get time away. I can remember once talking with my OBGYN and him sharing with me the importance of couples spending time together, and getting away together. After he shared that with me I had someone tell me about a marriage therapist that would share the power of 3 7's. Every 7 days go on a date (does not include a date with other couples, needs to be alone). Every 7 weeks get a weekend getaway! I don't care if it is camping or if it is sending the kids away and its a stay home getaway. You just need that time! And last but not least every 7 months a week vacation. People this is the BEST! HELLO! That is every 210 days you get to spend 5 to 7 days away with your best friend.
When I am on vacation with my hubby a few things happen. First it would usually take me about 36 hours to finally relax. Let my brain adjust to not going 100 miles an hour, remembering everything for everyone. After 36 hours I will have this realization of oh yeah we are away and no one needs me! Guess what! My name is Trina, not just mom or the maid or taxi driver. And then the most beautiful realization for me is, oh yeah, your Jeff my most fantastic, amazing husband, and oh yeah I love you! I am in-love with you. It truly is the most wonderful experience. It is a MUST for me. To have this quality time away. That is my main love language. (if you don't know your love language then you better get on-line and take the test now, for you and have your spouse do it too, it is a MUST)
I believe every couple needs this; time away to fall in-love again. To be reminded you actually do have a name and life beyond that of mom or dad, or employer or employee or maid or taxi driver. But there is a trick to this. YOU HAVE TO PLAN IT. No one will do it for you. NO ONE. In fact if anything you will have HUGE obstacles as you try to plan something. There will be pressing needs from others, or guilt or justifications or lack of money. It will be there. The question is WILL YOU BE STRONG ENOUGH TO FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE?
How are we supposed to stay close to our spouse if we do not spend extended amounts of time with each other? How are we to keep our fire burning in our marriage, the passion alive, the connection connected if we do not spend quality time with one another?
I have seen situations and heard of many situations like this. You marry, you raise the kids, the kids came first, the kids leave the nest, you wake up one day to a stranger next to you, no kids to keep common ground anymore. And you realize you don't know if you love this person. WAKE up people being in-love takes work! And time! If you can't give each other time during your crazy busiest years of marriage, what makes you think you will want to spend time in the latter years of marriage?
I really do believe a relationship between husband and wife needs to be first priority. That includes over the kids. Note to self; the kids wouldn't be here if you weren't together in the first place. Husband and Wife come first, together. This is a wonderful example to your children. They grown up knowing and seeing their parents loving each other. And making each other a priority. Greatest gift you can ever give your children is two parents that love one another. Now go schedule a date! And get a vacation planned on your calendar!
Photo by Il Divo.com
"I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be."