Have you ever heard of the term "parallel marriage"? This is when a couple is married, they share a home together and their lives are intermingled. They may have kids and have been married for years. But they do not share their hearts. Parallel marriages often have a common link of sexual disatisfaction. The couple gets along and they do their day to day activities. From the outside the couple looks happy and all put together. But inside their bedroom door, they sleep with a wedge between them. Two hearts that have refused to become one. Adam and Eve were commanded to become one flesh, but in a parallel marriage the couple has chosen to not open themselves up to become one.
Parallel marriages are a tragedy because of the loss of personal happiness. Parallel marriages hurt you and your spouse and your children. Divorce destroys about 50% of marriages, BUT many of the couples who stay married SETTLE into the emotional emptiness of marital mediocrity, creating what is called 'parallel marriage'. (Laura Brotherson And They Were Not Ashamed)
I have been shocked to learn how many marriages live this way. The numbers are much greater than I would ever have imagined. This is not what our Heavenly Father had planned for us when he created man and woman and the beautiful union of marriage. We are meant to have JOY. We are meant to feel happiness. We are meant to feel loved. We are meant to give love. We are meant to become one. One in heart and in purpose.
Don’t we all want someone on our team that wants what we want? Don’t we want someone that is always our cheerleader and giving us hope and motivation? Isn’t the purpose of marriage to always have someone in your corner with you who ALWAYS has your back? Who you always know will stick up for you and help you and LOVE you no matter what. Even when you screw up? No marriage is going to be perfect. There is NO such thing. BUT you can choose to make your marriage a priority and have a better marriage than you ever could dream of; if you choose it. I’ve done it myself. After 26 years of marriage I can honestly say we have experienced many ups and downs; backs and forths; and through it all we have come out on top. Everyday I wake up to my best friend. Somedays are better than others. Somedays I am so full of gratitude my heart is going to burst! Other days aren’t so great, and we struggle to see down the same roads. BUT because I, notice I said I, I have chosen to make my marriage a priority. I have chosen to NOT SETTLE, because of these choices, my marriage continues to grow in positive ways even after 26 years of marriage. The key word is--- I ----! You can’t change your spouse. But I promise you, as you choose to change you, the affects of those changes move your spouse to want to be better, love you more, and give you all they can. I have seen it happen many many times. It’s really a beautiful phenomenon. You change for the better, they want to be better.
Don’t settle. And don’t choose a parallel marriage. YOU deserve more.
"I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be."