So I am working on a new motivational talk and through the last many months I have been learning a lot about vulnerability. Maybe learning isn't the right word, more a realization that I have built walls so I don't allow myself to be vulnerable. Not a healthy way to live apparently. Through my studying the last few days, I have learned that in order to have real joy, you must allow yourself to be vulnerable. I didn't like that. It didn't sit well with me. How can allowing yourself to be open to pain or being hurt or being judged provide an avenue of feeling real joy as well? I am reading and reviewing talks by Brene Brown, I would highly suggest listening to her Ted talks. She is an amazing researcher and spent 12 years collecting her data. I have purchased one of her books on audible and finished it in 1 day! (that was 6+ hours of hearing major ah ha's, but always connected too, holy crap I have a lot of work to do!) I must say it isn't easy to learn the things your doing wrong, when in-fact you truly thought what you were doing was better for you, a protection for you. And I must give a warning, it kind of puts you in a slump. Change is hard. Breaking down walls that protect you from pain, is super hard! And just thinking about it can make you very ornery and you start building the walls even higher and stronger! Trust me, I am speaking from current experience!
But I love how Brene Brown describes someone who lives a vulnerable life.........WHOLE-HEARTED! Well I certainly don't want to live half-hearted! I want to enjoy every aspect of this incredible experience of LIFE! So I guess that means I have to learn to take down the walls. (mind you only brick by brick, overload of walls crumbling I PROMISE you won't be a pretty!) I will probably feel some extra pain at times, but if my JOY is increased and my ability to live whole-hearted becomes a reality instead of just a goal, then the work to get there will be so worth it! (I think) (yes that is fear speaking, because CHANGE is HARD and SCARY)
One thing you will learn quickly about me, is I am not afraid to say whats on my mind. I usually try to use a filter of sorts, I have gotten better at it the older I get. But I have taught a lot of youth groups, and let me tell you what, you don't tell them how it is and what it is, pretty straight forward, they will tell it to you. Beating around the bush never gets you to the finish line. So if I ever say anything that comes across too strong, I apologize right now. I am a red personality. I am a get to the point kind of gal. I also have a huge amount of compassion for others and their personal circumstances. So the way I speak and the words I use, are never meant to hurt anyone. But apparently even with my red personality, I have managed to build walls of protection; no doubt this even includes protection from my own words and wisdom!
I'd love to hear any comments on what vulnerability means to you.
"I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be."